What is the big deal about celebrating Valentine’s Day? There are so many varying theories about St. Valentine, his validity, and the message of Valentine’s Day. I think we best begin at the beginning(s)….it’s going to get a little complicated on the history so buckle up and enjoy the ride.
According to History.com, February 14th is the death date of Valentine—a holy priest in early days of the Roman Empire. Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II (a.k.a. Claudius the Cruel), it was decreed that marriage was no longer allowed due to the need for males in an ever diminishing militia— Claudius the Cruel believed that low military enlistment was due to the strong connections and attachments that men developed with their wives and children (History.com, 2018). Valentine was strongly opposed to the decree and still continued to wed couples in secret—when Claudius the Cruel discovered the secret marriages, he ordered Valentine to be beheaded (History.com, 2018). Due to his “heroic” deeds, Valentine was deemed St. Valentine Patron of Love, Young People, and Happy Marriages (Catholic Online, 2018).
Others believe that St. Valentine’s Day is connected with the pagan festival of love (a.k.a. Feast of Lupercalia) where the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed (History.com, 2018). St. Valentine’s Day was believed to be created out of the Roman Catholic church to connect the day with Christianity and not paganism—therefore, it was created in opposition to the Feast of Lupercalia (Catholic Online, 2018).
Some believe that no one knows the real identity of St. Valentine—there are at least three recorded St. Valentines, all of which were martyrs that were executed on February 14th. One being identified as a priest, the second a bishop, and the third a martyr in the Roman providence of Africa (History.com, 2018). Whoever he was, Valentine did really exist, because archaeologists have unearthed a Roman catacomb and an ancient church dedicated to St. Valentine (Catholic Online, 2018).
It’s odd to think that we spend so much commercial industry and time celebrating St. Valentine and we aren’t exactly sure what he died for or who the hell he was. Rather than focus on St. Valentine’s Day as a romantic holiday, why not make this a day of selflessness and compassion. I think it’s important to be of service and give to others, being kind to your friends/family and appreciate them, or doing something good that can go back to the universe. Here are a few tips for things to do on Valentine’s Day that break the traditional ideas:
- Volunteer
- You could work at a local soup kitchen, work/donate food for a local food pantry, deliver meals on wheels, sign up to be a buddy with Big Brothers/Big Sisters, participate in a community/city clean up, visit sick children in the hospital, spend the day at a nursing home….the list can literally go on and on. Find something you are passionate about and get involved.
- Take the day to unplug
- Lessen your carbon emissions. Walk/bike if the weather permits. Keep the lights off. Don’t use your phone and stay off social media. Take the day to read, clean, or maybe organize that closet you’ve been putting off for months (maybe you have items that can be donated to local charities). Just take the day to be Earth conscious and unplug a little from technology.
- Do a Secret Santa-like Valentine exchange with your other single friends/host a party.
- Who doesn’t love a gift? Plan and organize a Secret Santa for you and your friends. You could also incorporate a party, dinner, movie, or night of enjoying each other’s company.
- Love yourself
- Take the day to pamper yourself! Get a massage, try a fancy new face mask, go on an adventure, try an exercise class, go shopping, or whatever else makes you happy. Take the day to appreciate yourself and acknowledge that you are valuable! As RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
Regardless of whether you find yourself single or in some sort of relationship, I think it important to recognize the day as one of compassion, caring, love, and acceptance. I think it is easy to be negative on Valentine’s Day if one is single because it reminds you that you are alone and not in some sort of romantic relationship. I would encourage those of us lucky enough to have close family, friends, or colleagues that we are never really alone. Love is all around us in various forms—we should embrace that and be grateful for what we have. Ultimately, I do not want my happiness to be based on my ability to be in a romantic relationship—I am pretty awesome with or without someone else to justify that.
References
Catholic Online. (2018). St. Valentine. Retrieved from: http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=159
History.com (2018). This day in history. Retrieved from: http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/st-valentine-beheaded
chriscbryant.com 