Let me start by saying that I am a white, cis-gender male. I grew up in rural West Virginia (right along the Ohio River near the Ohio and Kentucky borders). I have been very fortunate as an openly gay male that I have experienced very little prejudice or discrimination–I owe a lot of this in part to my privilege of my race and gender. For whatever reason, my most significant relationships have all been with men of color (Asian and Bi-Racial). Even in those instances, I never faced any weird stares, comments, or had anyone verbally or physically assault me or my partners. However, this past weekend was a new experience for me.
I have lived in Montgomery County, PA (living in both Wayne and King of Prussia) since December 2015. I live very close to the Target in KOP and frequent it pretty regularly–probably 3-4 times a week. I have always had great service and never had any complaints from my local Target store. Recently I moved into an apartment with two of my friends (one is a bi-racial male–Mark* and the other is Indian–Steven*) and we have been shopping to make our new apartment our home. Normally, I only go to my Target in KOP but due to a lack of inventory, I had to venture out to other stores.
Steven and I went shopping at the Target in Phoenixville, PA–200 Mill Rd, Phoenixville, PA 19460. We had ordered two lamps to be picked up through the online store. We had never used the system before but went about 30-40 minutes after the order. We go to the front desk and Steven asks about our items, a white woman (appearing to be about 25) and a white male (appearing to be about 20) stared at Steven like he was stupid.
Associate: (in an annoyed and dejected tone) “Did you get an email?”
Steven: “No. We just thought we were supposed to come to the store to collect the items”
Associate: (stares at Steven blankly then replies) “That is not how that works that process takes about two hours and we have not had time to grab them. Did you get an email stating that it was ready for pick up?”
Steven: “No. We just thought we were supposed to come to the store to collect the items”
Associate: (annoyed tone) “We haven’t had time to get them. If you don’t want to wait you can grab them off the shelf yourself.”
Steven: “Ok. thank you.”
As we are walking away, I turn around and see her rolling her eyes and then she proceeds to speak to the other associate about us. I couldn’t hear all of the conversation but I heard her say, “Those people are always like that.” At the time, I was so shocked and angry that I just want to leave. I didn’t want anything from this store–I just wanted to cancel the order and leave. Steven stated that this is pretty normal experience for him when he shops out in the suburbs. I spent the rest of our shopping experience pissed that we were in this store buying items from a store of people that feel like “those people are always like that.” While I can only make assumptions, I feel like her comment was slated at Steven for his race rather than our sexual orientation–but who knows.
Unfortunately, after spending an obscene amount of money and time at Target (doesn’t this happen to everyone?) we then had to order a sofa table from another Target. We did the online store pick up option and less than 20 minutes after making the order, we received a notification that it was ready for pick up! After being treated like idiots for coming 30-40 minutes after an order at the first store, the other store had already processed our order and retrieved the items.
Our next destination was target in Royersford, PA–1824 E Ridge Pike, Royersford, PA 19468. On the way to our next destination, my friend *Brad joined us to shop. Our experience with the in store pick up was fine and our overall shopping experience was fine. However, when we got to the register, everything fell apart.
The cashier appeared to be a white male in his early 20s and he was standing at the end of his isle waiting for customers. When we got to the isle, he looked at us oddly but went to his register. We had purchased a rug, sofa table, and a few other items that would require a cashier to come around to assist with the hand scanner–no one should be expected to pick up a 8X10 rug to run across the automatic belt. The cashier, still having never said a word, stands there staring at us and doesn’t move to help but rather expects us to place the items on the belt. Steven finally asks if he can come around and scan the larger items–he does so (without a word), scans the items, and then goes back to his register. The items the associate had scanned that could have been bagged, he left on the end of his register. Steven paid and we assumed that the associate would bag the items at the end of his register. Instead, he greets the next customers (a family of 4, all white people) and strikes up small talk with them.
At this point, Steven, Brad, and myself stand there bewildered–we haven’t left the register, nothing is bagged, and he starts on the next customer. Steven asks if we could have large bags for the items so we could bag them. The associate then hands them to Steven and we begin bagging the items. At this point, Brad is pissed and speaks to an associate at the register near us.
Brad: Are you a manager?
Associate: “No. I just look like one. Is there something wrong?
Brad: Is there something wrong with our cashier? (At this point, the associate who had checked us out, turns around to look at Brad) He seems like there is a problem with him.
Associate: “Oh, ok. Thank you for letting me know. I will check on him.”
At no point were we offered a manager or anyone to speak with. We left the store all shocked an bewildered
Here we are in 2018 and this is how people react to three gay men at Target–which I think is probably the shopping mecca for a many a gay man. Again, I am not sure if the associate’s reaction is to Steven’s race or our obvious flamboyant gay selves. The sad part about our experience is that Steven was almost unaffected by the entire experience–he stated that this is a pretty common experience for him. I again asked, why did we spend roughly $1,100 between the two stores to be treated this way?! Not one of us had a good enough answer other than we don’t like to shop at Walmart.
To be less than an hour from Philadelphia (the 6th most populous city in the U.S.) and we are being treated like we are in the stereotypical 1950s back woods of the deep south. I also feel guilty that I was unable to use to my privilege to act as a voice for our treatment–it was not that I was physically unable to but I honestly wasn’t sure how to even react mostly because I was shocked.
I did do a very stereotypical thing for white people and I called in to the Target complain line the next day. I spoke with several individuals and informed them of what happened. I felt that their concern was genuine but their answer was that they were going to contact the store managers and report the issues that had occurred. I was informed that we would not be made aware of the actual outcome of the report because they were not allowed to share that would happen with the employees. I expressed to the complaint line, obviously these people were hired there by the store managers so it is unlikely that anything would be done–they more than likely all have the same thought process. I was “assured” that I would receive a call from both store managers–it’s been 48 hours since the incident and 24 hours since I called in and no communication so far.
Target, if you are out there and happen to read this, please do something about your company. If you want to be in the same boat as Starbucks, then ignore what is going on in your stores and continue to let racism and homophobia influence your customer experience.
For now, I will take a break from going to any Target store until I hear back from these stores to know what is going to be done to address these biases in their employees. I am sure if we are being treated this way, that others are out there facing the same or possibly worse.
(*To protect the identities of my friends, I have used these pseudonyms for their names.)
chriscbryant.com 